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Infidelity in Your Relationship

Marcelina Hardy | May 29, 2008

Your spouse has cheated on you and you don't want to end the relationship. You know your spouse made a horrible mistake and have faith that it will not happen again. However, how do you get over the deceit and unfaithfulness. You feel betrayed and can't trust the person that you thought would never hurt you. Read on to find out how psychotherapy can help you move on and repair the damage to your relationship.

Being Cheated On

When you discover your partner has cheated on you, the first response you probably had was shock. How could this person do this to you? After you start to accept what happened, you may start to feel angry. You may be angry at your partner, at the action as well as in the relationship. You don't only lose faith in your partner but you lose it in the relationship as well.

Returning the Faith

Getting that faith and trust back is not an easy task. It's something that both you and your partner must work towards together. You will need a lot of time to get over such a drastic blow to your security. No one can rush you through the grief you feel. The only way for your relationship to succeed is by taking in each emotion you feel and giving yourself a chance to feel it so you can move on.

Another important thing to consider is that often times; cheated people will lose faith in themselves. This is because they wonder where they went wrong to cause this to happen. Even though it is never the cheated person's fault, the person loses trust in him or herself in either the choices made or choosing the person as a spouse.

Isn't it Easier Just to Forget It?

Sometimes you may not want to feel those emotions. They will make you feel like the situation is happening over again. You will feel like the easiest way to repair the relationship is to deny what happened and focus on the future. The problem with this is that being in denial doesn't mean the situation has gone away. It means that you never fully work through it, which means it can subconsciously affect your relationship further down the road.

When it's too Much to Handle

When you can't deal with the emotions or you just don't know what to do with them, you may need the help of a psychotherapist. A psychotherapist can help you with your feelings and explain them to you. He or she will help you build trust in yourself, your partner and in the relationship.

Individual or Joint Therapy

You have the option if you want to seek therapy individually or with your spouse. The best way to recover from infidelity and stay in the relationship is by seeking therapy for yourself AND with your spouse. This way you can work on your own feelings and then work on repairing the relationship with both of the parties involved in the relationship.

Asking your partner to join you may be difficult but it is important. If your spouse refuses to, it may be a good idea to remind your partner that it was his or her actions, which caused this, you are working hard to fix it and you need his or her help.